Sinners
by httpsklaine
Summary: Blaine is a pastor, dedicated to God's work. Kurt is a model and he doesn't believe in God. Blaine has known Kurt for his whole life but he moved out of Ohio after being bullied a lot when he was 13. Years later Kurt comes back to Ohio and he doesn't look like a kid anymore, he looks hot, and that is what makes Blaine doubt his sexuality and question everything he believes
1. Grown Up

Most people live searching for a reason to be alive, searching for the meaning of life, for the reason why they are here, how they are breathing, why they are breathing, who put them here, why bad things happen. God? The Universe? Buddah? The spirits? No one truly knows but Blaine chose to believe that the reason he was on the face of earth was to spread God's word around the it and to help people. Well that was what his father, the pastor, president and leader of Lima's Third Baptist Church said.

It wasn't that Blaine didn't want to help people, he did and yes he did believe in God but he had grown tired of religion and church. He never felt free. He wanted to feel free.

When Blaine was 5 years old a couple moved into the house right across the street with the old married couple that had lived there since before Blaine was born. One year later he watched the younger couple bringing home a baby. Blaine only met Kurt when Kurt's mother asked Blaine's dad to baptize Kurt when Kurt was 6 months old and after that Kurt's mother went to Blaine's father's church every Sunday with her parents, Harriet and Joseph, who Blaine had known as his neighbors for as long as he could remember. He knew Harriet as the woman who always gave him candy when she saw him at church. Blaine started taking care of kids on Sunday School when he was 12 years old, he wasn't old enough but since he was the pastor's son, people trusted Blaine to take care of the kids. When Blaine was 13, he got a new student in his Sunday School class, Kurt and Kurt was seven years old. Kurt had always been the quiet one on the Sunday class, he sat alone and didn't say anything, never answered question or barely moved. In all those years at Sunday school Kurt had never really talked to Blaine. Then Kurt was 13, he didn't go to Sunday School anymore, he sat by his parents' side at the service and watched Blaine sing every Sunday. Blaine went from a Sunday School teacher to the lead singer of worship in his father's church after he learned how to play the piano and the guitar when he was 19 and the only part of the service Kurt didn't make a sad face was when Blaine sang.

One day, after Blaine's dad gave a sermon about homosexuality, Blaine had found Kurt crying in the bathroom but Kurt ignored him and left. So Kurt and Blaine never really talked, not just because of the 6 years age gap but because Kurt seemed to hate Blaine.

Growing up in a small town was not what Blaine had wanted for his life, but he had never dreamt big or ever thought about doing big things or even leaving that town, it was comfortable and okay, it wasn't good and he wasn't happy like he wanted to be, but it was okay. He had never had dreams. That until he was 20 years old and needed some extra money for his tuition and since his work at Breadstix didn't pay him enough he agreed to babysit Kurt every time his parents and Kurt's grandparents weren't home so they felt free to go out.

Blaine wondered how at 13 year old kid could make Blaine think so big, dream bigger. He was just a kid but he talked like he was Blaine's age. He talked about Broadway, Vogue, about wanting to be a model, wanting to have tea with Queen Elizabeth, wanting to meet J.K. Rowling, wanting to take a roadtrip in France, about wanting to taste every single kind of cheese and wine there, about things that Blaine had never imagined in his life and Kurt said those things like one day, he'd actually do them. That kid was different from any other kid.

Then Kurt left, leaving the house only to his grandparents and Blaine wondering where he was. After asking Harriet, he found out that Kurt had left to New York because of all the bullying, he also found out Kurt's father was a Senator and agreed to go to New York cause it was closer to Washington.

After Kurt left, Blaine felt sort of empty but life went on. Years went by, Blaine became a pastor, got his degree on psychiatry and theology and created a youth group at church, a service only for young adults and teenagers.

But with everything Blaine had, money, friends, leadership, God he still felt empty.

* * *

><p>"Hurry up, mom!" Kurt yelled to his mom who was still in the house as he put the boxes by himself in the U-HAUL truck, his dad insisting to help but Kurt stopping him because of his recent heart attack.<p>

"I still don't get why you won't let me help." Burt sighed with his arms crossed, watching his son work.

"Don't worry, dad. I've got this." Kurt said even though he felt tired as fuck. "So, when's the funeral?"

"I'm not sure." Burt sighed. "Your mother was crying too hard, she didn't wanna talk about it."

Kurt sighed. "Is Kyle going to the funeral?" Kurt asked. "I think he's too young to go."

"He is gonna stay at home with the neighbor's kid. Remember Rachel."

"Yeah, she was sort of my friend. Even though she watched kids bully me and didn't do shit." Kurt smiled sarcastically. "Good girl that one."

"Kurt…"

"I don't want Kyle near her. She is poisonous. I hate her, dad. She's a spoiled brat who thinks is better than everyone. I don't want her to poison my baby brother."

Burt nodded. "Okay."

"I won't go to the funeral. I'll stay at grandma's house with Kyle for the reception." Kurt stopped moving the boxes for a second and took a deep breath. "Thank God she lives in a mansion. I won't have to worry about sharing a room with Ky."

Burt sat on one of the boxes and Kurt wiped his forehead. "So, that kid Blaine, you excited to see him."

Kurt scoffed. "Dad, I had a crush on him when I was thirteen. I don't even know if he remembers me. Besides, he has this thing about gay people. Him and his dad. Honestly, if he is anything like his sister, I hate him."

"What's with all this hate?" His mother asked, holding her four year old on her arms, her eyes were red, she had dark circles under her eyes and her hair was messy.

"Sorry, mom. Just not excited to go back to my bullies."

"Tell that to your dad. I told you you don't have to go back to school." Elizabeth sighed. "You are a model, Kurt, you don't need school."

"Elizabeth, he is only going back to Paris after he finishes school! My word is law."

Kurt chuckled. "It's fine, mom." Kurt put the last box in the trunk and closed it. "I'll be fine. And you know if anyone tries to mess with me I'll-"

"You won't have to do anything, kid." Burt sighed. "I'll sue anyone who tries to even touch you."

"We should go." Elizabeth said. "Mom shouldn't stay alone any longer."

Kurt looked over at his house and sighed. "I'm gonna miss this place."

"Me, too." Kyle said.

"Don't worry, Ky." His mother said. "I promised I'll get you a dog to make it up to you."

"Yay!"

"Is it true that that gay kid is coming back?" Blaine's father asked his family over dinner.

"What gay kid?" Rachel asked frowning.

"Hummel?" Blake, her twin, asked frowning, sounding disgusted.

"I guess it'll be good for Harriet to have someone to comfort her after Her husband died." Blaine said.

"The whole family is coming back." Their mother explained.

"Well, I don't want any of you getting involved, okay? They're too emotional now. They need some time."

His father was a good man. "Of course, dad." Blaine smiled but Rachel had a weird look on her face.

"Rach, what's wrong?" Her twin asked her as she looked down at her hands.

When she looked up her dad gave her a look and she shook her head and sighed. "Just nervous about my solo tomorrow at church." She lied.

"Don't be. You're going to be great. You can rock this song in your sleep." Blaine assured.

"When can I sing, too?" Their five year old sister asked.

"Soon, Rebecca." Her father assured.

"Dad, I was thinking we could do something new on the youth service-"

"Blaine, do whatever you want." The man didn't seem interested. "It's your service."

Blaine nodded. "Do you guys know anyone who speaks Spanish?"

"Okay, what's this nonsense about?" The father asked.

"I was thinking about doing a service in Spanish. So we can bring more people who don't speak our language to church." Blaine explained excitedly.

His father scoffed. "People? You mean gardeners and housekeepers? Immigrants who are here illegally trying to take over our country."

"Dad, that's not-"

"The answer is no."

Blaine sighed. Why were his ideas always ignored.

Blaine stood up. "May I be excused."

"Yes." Said his mother and he rushed up the stairs to his room.

He checked his phone when he got to his room he smiled when saw a message on a chatting app called kik from the guy he had been talking to online and he told everything but who he was.

_**eh1994**__: I don't want to send a picture because I know you'd change the way you think about me..._

Blaine quickly typed and answer.

_**warblerpower**__: I would never judge you by your looks..._

_**eh1994**__: I know. You're the only one who doesn't judge me. I just Wouldn't be comfortable if we exchanged pictures. Not yet. _

Blaine sighed.

_**warblerpower:**__ it's okay. as long as your promise you're not a serial killer. Cause I don't even know your real name._

_**eh1994:**__ you know everything about me. I've told you everything there is to know but my name and you still think I could be someone I say I'm not. :(_

_**warblerpower**__: I didn't mean it like that..._

_**eh1994:**__ I know, it's okay :)_

_**Warblerpower**__: are you okay?_

_**eh1994**__: not really :( someone in my family died recently._

_**warblerpower:**__ I'm so sorry_

_**eh1994:**__ now my life is gonna change a lot :(_

_**warblerpower:**__ tell me if I can do anything to help._

_**eh1994:**__ you know, if I had met you a few years ago my life would be less complicated._

_**warblerpower:**__ weren't you like 9?_

Blaine had been talking to this guy for two months. They met on a website called omegle after he caught his 13 year old sister on it he decided to find out what it was, so he met this guy and they talked and talked and told each other about their troubles and problems. They told each other everything but who they were. And Blaine really wanted to find out who this guy was.

**_eh1994_**: nice try on finding out my age. I told you. Not yet.

Blaine sighed for the billionth time.

_**warblerpower:**__why?_

**_eh1994_**_: because once we do it will all be real and i like you too much to make this real because real things can always get ruined_

Blaine simply sighed and changed subject because when the guy said he liked him, Blaine didn't think about it on a friendship way.

_**warblerpower:**__ my dad was an ass again today. Don't ever work with your dad! I give him ideas for us to do at work but he just ignores them! He's a total jerk and I wish I had the guts to tell him._

Blaine didn't tell the guy details about anything, specially his job because he knew that the guy would judge him for being a pastor.

_**eh1997:**__ one day you'll be able to face up to him._

_**warblerpower**__: sometimes I get scared i will end up like him *sigh*_

_**eh1994**__: don't worry, you won't. you are too nice to be an ass :)_

_**warblerpower:**__ i feel bad for talking about him like this…_

**_eh1994_**_: hey, it's okay, don't worry, you have the right to be mad, it's okay._

_**warblerpower:**__ how selfish am i? talking about my jerk dad when someone in your family just died! I am so sorry,_

_**eh1994**__: it's okay.i like listening to you but i gotta go. im driving, hehe._

_**warblerpower:**__ that is totally irresponsible! don't ever text and drive again! bye! _

* * *

><p>Harriet sat by the window with Blaine at his house, holding his hand and crying softly, he stroke her hands saying comforting words in a prayer and all she could do was cry as she stared at the window.<p>

"Amen." Blaine said, finishing the prayer and the older woman smiled at him.

"What would I do without you, Pastor?"

Blaine smiled proudly. "You'd be just fine with the guidance of the lord." Blaine saw a U-HAUL parked across the street in front of Harriet's house. "I think your daughter is here."

Harriet looked up and smiled widely when she saw her grandson taking the boxes out of the truck.

"Does she know?" Kurt asked his dad as he once again watched Kurt carry the boxes.

"Know what?" Burt raised his brows.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "That I'm gay."

"I don't think so." Burt shrugged.

"I'll tell her soon. Do you think she'll be mad?"

"Nah, your grandma is open minded. Don't worry."

"Daddy!" Kyle called his father and Burt hushed to take him in his arms.

"My beautiful grandson!" He heard his grandma's voice and when he turned around she was walking towards him with her arms opened. "You're so big!"

Kurt smiled at her and they met in a very tight hug and a kiss on the cheek from Harriet. "I've missed you grandma." As Kurt hugged her, he saw Blaine standing behind her with a smile. Blaine freaking Anderson. The guy who made Kurt doubt his sexuality looking as hot as always. He barely aged. He had a light stubble on his face and it was sexy as hell but Kurt couldn't make the hate he always had for the Anderson go away just because Blaine looked hot.

Harriet let go of her grandson when she saw her daughter and she ran towards her, leaving Kurt alone with Blaine.

"Kitty?" No, not that nickname.

"Kurt, yes." Kurt smiled at him. "Hi."

"You look..." Blaine was amazed by how hot Kurt looked and he felt guilty because thinking like that about him was wrong.

"Amazing? Perfect with perfectly coifed hair?"

Blaine chuckled. "Big. You're taller than me." Blaine stood next to Kurt. "Whoa..." He gave Kurt a brief hug. "How-how are you?"

"I'm great!"

"That's amazing!" Blaine was way too excited about Kurt coming back. "Uh, do you need help?"

Kurt nodded. "That'd be great."

Blaine looked inside the small truck and frowned. "No furniture?"

"Nope."

"What'd you do with it?" Blaine raised his brows as he took the boxes out of the truck with Kurt and found it sexy that Kurt was sweaty. God, Blaine. You were supposed to have these thoughts under control!

"We left at the house and rented the house with the furniture. The money goes for mine and Kyle's college fund."

"Kyle?" Blaine raised his brows.

"My little brother."

"So you're going to Lima University?"

"Oh, no. I'm still in high school."

"Aren't you eighteen?"

"I am but I spent a year in France modeling so I missed one year of school."

"You're a model?" Blaine asked in awe.

Kurt nodded. "I am. How else was I supposed to afford these clothes." He scoffed pointing to his own outfit.

"That's great, Kurt." Blaine sighed. "Why'd you leave France?"

"My dad got sick so I went back to New York." Kurt said, watching his grandma right next to them.

"That's nice of you."

"Yeah..." He hummed. "So how's your church? Full of believers?" He said the last sentence in a mocking tone.

Blaine chuckled. "Yeah. Always. You should show up some time. We have a youth group now."

"Well, that doesn't sound lame at all." Kurt said sarcastically. "Who's the pastor? Rachel?" He scoffed.

"No, I am." Kurt's smile faded.

"What?" He was shocked.

"I'm a pastor now. Have been for a while now."

"Did you get a wife, too?" Kurt joked.

"No, I did not."

"The puppy you've always wanted? Did you get one? Or at least your own place..."

"Well, I can't leave my father's house until I marry."

Kurt almost laughed at that. "Sure. And you're what? 30?"

"I'm twenty four." Blaine frowned. "Do I look that old?"

Kurt chuckled. "No."

Blaine sighed as he took the last box out of the truck and Kurt closed it as Blaine left the last box on the sidewalk on top of the others.

"Okay, I gotta go hand in the truck." Kurt said, playing with the truck keys.

"Want me to tag along?" Blaine asked.

"Sure." Kurt shrugged and gave him a fake smile because if he said no his grandma would hear and get mad. "I just have to warn my mom-"

"Don't worry honey, you can go. Spend some time with Blaine, it'll be good for you." Harriet said, walking towards them and Kurt rolled his eyes. "Pastor Anderson Senior is gonna help us take the boxes inside."

"Blaine's dad?" Kurt frowned. "No, I'll take them inside, I don't need his help."

"Kurt, if you don't take the truck back by three they'll want us to pay more." His father said.

Kurt sighed. "Fine."

Him and Blaine got in the truck and drove away and Blaine realized Kurt looked upset.

"Something wrong?" Blaine frowned.

"No." Kurt said and after a few minutes of silence Blaine sighed and said:

"You don't like my dad?"

"Oh, he's the one who doesn't like me."

"What?" Blaine scoffed. "No, my dad likes everyone."

Kurt scoffed too and rolled his eyes. "Didn't your daddy tell you what he did to me?"

"What do you mean?" Blaine scowled and Kurt tightened his grip on the steering wheel, angrily.

"He outed me." Kurt gulped. "At school. He told Rachel in front of everyone he didn't want her to be friends with a faggot."

Blaine was surprised. And then Kurt was sure, Blaine had no idea what his father was capable of or who he really was.

"If you wanna know why I left it's because of what he did."

Blaine gulped and frowned, staring at the dashboard of the truck. "I-I didn't know."

"Oh, Blaine. I know more things about your family than you do." Kurt chuckled sarcastically. "Like your sister once watched five guys beat me up and didn't do anything." He chuckled again. "Oh and your brother, Blake was one of them! The adorable and sweet twins, Rachel and Blake watched people dump me in dumpsters everyday and did nothing."

"Kurt...I didn't know..."

"Why am I even telling you this?"

"Because we are friends?"

"Oh, you babysit me when I was young but it doesn't mean we are friends." He sounded disgusted saying the word friends. "I despise you less than the rest of your family but it doesn't mean I like you."

"Wait, you were so nice to me and now-"

"My grandma was there and she looooves your family." Kurt scoffed. "I didn't want her to know that you're all a bunch of hypocrites. You guys give her hope. I don't want her to be disappointed."

"Kurt! I'm not a hypocrite!"

"Your family is." Kurt sighed. "And you're a fucking pastor now? Come on, is that really what you want? To become another Anderson hypocrite?"

"Don't talk like that about my family."

Kurt stopped the truck suddenly, making the tires screech and groaned. "If I'm bothering you get out."

"I'm sorry for what my dad did to you but it's not my fault."

"Well, I say you're just like him so get out."

"Kurt-"

"Get out!" He yelled.

Blaine sighed. "I'm nothing like him. And I'm gonna prove it to you." He left the truck and Kurt rolled his eyes and drove away.

As soon as Blaine got home to his room the first thing he did was to message his online friend.  
><em><br>__**warblerpower:**__ now i am even more scared i will end up like my dad_

_**eh1994**__: you have this thing that you only text me when I'm driving! I'll text you later, xo_

Blaine lied in bed and stared at the ceiling until he fell asleep. _I don't want to be like my father._

_A/N: Tell me if you see any grammar mistakes and review if youd like me to keep going._


	2. Damn You

**BLAINE'S POV**

Kurt chose a room in Harriet's house that was perfect for me to see from mine, so, I was being totally creepy and watched him on his computer on that Sunday morning before church. He was still in his pajamas and his hair was messy and he looked sexy. Yes. The truth is, I'm gay. I've always known I was gay, but I knew no one would accept it so I've always tried to send these thoughts away but Kurt was back and he looked so hot and he was making all these _sinful_ thoughts come back to life. I was trying so hard not to think about him in that way but he was right across the street making me want him. Yes, he was always rude to me but I didn't blame him. He was angry. He thought I was just like my father but I'm not and I had to prove it.

A text distracted me from my creep watching.

_**eh1994**__: good morning to you if you are already awake not a good morning _

_**warblerpower:**__ i'm awake. can i ask you something?_

_**eh1994:**__ sure_

_**warblerpower:**__ why don't you want me to know who you are_

_**eh1994:**__ because I don't want you to change the way you see me_

_**warblerpower:**__ well, I want you to know who I am._

_**eh1994:**__ don't_

_**warblerpower:**__ my name is blaine. i am 24 years old _

_**warblerpower:**__ *photo attachment* and this is me_

Minutes passed and I stared at my phone screen.

_**warblerpower:**__hello?_

***your message could not be sent. reason: blocked.***

I felt a sting of pain in my heart and a weird need to cry. I had told things to this guy I had never told anyone and he just blocked me? When I looked up, Kurt's window and curtain had been closed and I sighed loudly. I heard my father calling me to get ready for church and I did.

We always had to get to church earlier to prepare things but that day I didn't feel like doing anything. I felt hurt and rejected. What had that been about? Did he find me ugly or something?

I sat down on the stage, playing with my tie in the empty church and looked up when I heard the door opening. It was Mandy, the girl who was in love with me and whom my father had insisted I married. But I didn't like her. She was beautiful but not beautiful in the way I wanted her to be. She approached me with a smile and sat by my side, crossing her legs.

"Hi." She said shyly, blushing.

"Hey." I said with no emotion on my tone, frowning, staring at the floor.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

I stood up, ignoring her question. I looked up at the clock on the wall and it was still early, the band would still take half an hour to get there and I didn't wanna spend time with her so I excused myself to the restroom.

When I got there there was a strong smell of cigarette and smoke coming from one of the stalls. I got on top of the toilet on one of the stalls to see who was smoking in there and it was none other than Kurt Hummel.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Kurt asked me with a frown, he was standing there with his arms crossed and when he spoke he blew smoke on my face.

"You can't smoke here." I was on my toes, and they were starting to hurt.

He got out of the stall and I followed him. He just kept looking at me and didn't say anything but he kept smoking.

"These are bad for you." I whispered and he bit his lower lip, sexily.

"They help me stay skinny so they are good for me."

I sighed. "You could get lung cancer."

He sighed. "Why are you here?" Kurt asked with a frown and he seemed upset.

"I was trying to get rid of someone." I admitted because I knew Kurt would never judge anyone. "Why are you smoking in here?"

"My grandma seems to be everywhere." He rolled his eyes. "And I really needed a smoke."

I sighed and smiled at him. "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone." I said, looking anywhere but into his eyes because when I looked into his eyes...it was weird.

"I know you won't." He sounded so sure. "And what I said the other day about you being just like your dad-"

"Kurt-"

"You are not." He said. "You are nothing like him. You are a great guy."

I smiled. "Yeah?"

He took one step ahead and suddenly we were really close. "I know that because-"

My dad had to burst into the restroom and when he saw us he looked angry.

"What is going on here?" He asked us.

"I-"

"He was praying for me." Kurt said. "Thank you, pastor." He shook my hand and quickly left.

"I don't want you near that guy." His father said angrily.

"Dad..."

"You heard me. I want you as far away from him as you can. I know you're close to his grandma but I don't want you near him, understood?"

I sighed. "Yes, sir." Yes, sir? Why did I have to be such a freaking coward? Why can't I stand up for myself? My dad left the restroom and I stood there for a few seconds, just thinking about how pathetic I was.

I exited the restroom a few minutes after my dad did just to bump into Mandy, again. I sighed. "Hey."

"Hey, you." She smiled at me and started fixing my bow tie.

I knew her lips were moving and she was saying something but I couldn't pay attention because Kurt was standing a few feet away and as he talked to his grandma, he looked at me and was that a smile? Did Kurt Hummel actually smile at me?

That smile from Kurt made me smile the whole day.

**KURT'S POV**

I hated school. I remember the time I spent in Paris. No school, no stupid ignorant kids, just me, the camera and the amazing outfits. I sighed as I walked through the McKinley High hallways, staring at people with disgust. I actually put gloves on that day even though it wasn't cold because touching things at that school made me feel disgusted.

I decided to pretend that people were staring at me because I looked amazing and not because I was the gay kid who came back from New York. I felt defeated. Coming back to Ohio made me feel defeated. Everything in Ohio made me wanna cry. Well except Blaine. Blaine made me happy.

Finding out Blaine was 'warblerpower' on kik was the biggest plot twist in my life. Seriously, i had always seen Blaine as an ignorant asshole but he wasn't. I knew who Blaine really was and who he really was was the man that had messaged me for months not the asshole he seemed to be. He was kind, attentive and honestly I was scared because I had a crush on 'warblerpower' since we had started talking and crushing on someone you don't know it's a fantasy like a fairytale but finding out he was Blaine made me scared of liking him. And I was trying hard not to think about Blaine or talk to him but it seemed impossible after all the conversations we had through messages, everything he had told me, everything I told him. I truly knew Blaine and he didn't even know.

I was in my second period of my first day when someone talked to me and sadly that someone was Rachel Anderson.

"Why are you talking to me?" I asked her with a disgusted expression.

"I was thinking-since we were friends in middle school maybe we-"

I scoffed. "Friends?" I whispered angrily. "We are not friends. Stay away from me, Anderson."

Rachel frowned. "Look, I know I've done things but-"

"I said stay away!" I said loudly and everybody turned their attention to me. I rolled my eyes. "What are you looking at?"

"Mr. Hummel, have you finished your assignment?" The history teacher whom I didn't know the name asked and I rolled my eyes at her, stood up and walked towards her with my assignment that I had finished minutes ago. I handed it to her, raised my eyebrows at her and gave her my best bitch glare.

The teacher sighed and I went back to my seat and Rachel was still there, sitting by my seat. "What part of stay away didn't you understand? I don't like you. I don't like your family. I don't want you near me, understand?"

Rachel nodded, stood up and went back to her seat. I sighed loudly when someone sat by my side again.

"You finally got that Anderson kid to shut up." The girl with pink hair and piercings said. "Good."

"And you are?" I raised my brows.

"Quinn." She smiled and the girl and a beautiful smile. "And you're Kurt Hummel. I saw you in a GAP catalogue once."

I nodded and smiled at her. "I don't do GAP anymore." I said.

"I know. You're now the face of something Calvin Klein, right?"

I chuckled. "Nope. Calvin Klein is for brainless models. I modeled for Alexander McQueen and Burberry but I'm on a break." I explained.

"Cool." She looked down at my boots and smiled. "Nice boots."

"Marc Jacobs if you're wondering."

"I wasn't." She clicked her tongue. "But nice."

I nodded and pursed my lips.

"You wanna go somewhere after this stupid class?"

"I have English."

"It's your first day. The teacher doesn't know you're coming. If you want you can skip all day."

I nodded. "Cool."

I found myself behind the football field bleachers. It was probably the most disgusting place I had ever been to. But it had a freaking couch so I guess it was okay. Quinn and her friends introduced themselves as the skanks and I found it the weirdest thing I had ever heard. How could they think so low of themselves. I felt sorry for them. At least they had cigarettes. Cigarettes helped me stay skinny so yeah, I smoked, don't judge me.

I sat on the couch between Quinn and a guy named Elliot. He wore way too much eyeliner but he was very good looking and his jacket was awesome.

"Where did you get your jacket?" I asked him softly as the other girls went on and on about how they were going to throw pee balloons at this kid called Andrew.

"I stole it from some kid here." He scoffed. "This jacket was way too badass for him."

I nodded. "And it happened to fit perfectly?" He was lying. I knew it. He was just saying that to sound like a badass.

He simply shrugged and I rolled my eyes at him. They were cool people but they didn't make me feel like I belonged. They tried too hard to be badasses, it was kind of annoying. So after lunch I decided to leave them and go inside the school.

As I walked down the hallways, I saw a guy covered in slushies in the end of the hallway and he seemed helpless so I approached him to help.

"Are you okay?" I asked the blonde guy. "Who did this to you?"

The guy sighed. "Some football players." He had a huge mouth.

"You need help cleaning up?" I asked and the guy nodded. I saw a tear falling down his eyes but the slushie over his face hid the tears.

We went to the men's locker room because we'd find towels there. We approached the showers and when he turned on one of them I found myself uncomfortable because I didn't know what to do.

"Can you clean my shirt while I shower?" He asked taking his shirt off and I couldn't help but stare at his abs.

"Oh, uh, sure." I frowned. "But you're going to wear it wet?"

"No. I have a spare one in my locker."

"Then I guess you don't need my help?"

"It's nice to have the company."

"Okay."

I sat on the bench, facing the opposite side of where the guy was, staring at the floor and holding his shirt.

"I'm Sam, by the way."

"Kurt." I could hear him unzipping his pants and I sighed. "Why did they do this to you?"

"Because I joined glee club." Sam sighed and by the sounds I knew he was under the shower, probably naked. I gulped. "And because I'm new."

"I'm new, too. Why didn't they slushie me?"

"You're Kurt Hummel, right? Isn't your dad important or something? I don't think they would dare to mess with you."

"How do you know who my dad is?" I frowned.

"I heard a girl in my class talking about you." Sam explained. "But she didn't mention you were this cute."

I smirked. Thank God he was gay because I was starting to feel guilty because of the dirty thoughts I was having since he was naked a few feet away from me.

"You're not so bad yourself." I said. "And I'll make sure these guys stop bothering you. Don't worry."

"You probably don't know this because you missed the first school week but these guys will never stop." He told me. "This guy told me that things here don't change. They never did."

"Well, I guess it's time they do." I turned around when I heard the shower being turned off and Sam had a towel wrapped around his waist. I smirked and he looked down, chuckling.

"You're some kind of revolutionary guy?"

I shrugged. "Yes. You can say that."

He walked towards his locker and he had a weird walk. I just sat there looking at him. He took the towel off shamelessly and I smiled when I faced his glorious ass. Oh, damn. But soon be put his P.E. Clothes on and my subconscious was disappointed. He sat by my side to put his shoes on and smiled at me.

"What are you doing after school?" I asked Sam.

"Glee Club." He told me.

"Really? Glee club. That's really-"

"Lame?"

"I was going to say nice." I smiled at him and was he blushing? Oh my god, he was blushing because of me.

"You could come. It'd be nice."

"Okay." I said. "Great."

We talked about school stuff and we were flirting and he blushed all the time and so did I. He was nice and all but he wasn't Blaine.

The glee club was group of idiots. Not because they were actual idiots but because they all sat the whole hour and watched Rachel sing and boss them around. The worst part was that the teacher was also an idiot and didn't do shit about it. I felt like punching that girl in the face.

I decided not to join Glee club. It was totally my scene but Rachel was there and I just-I hated her too much to be around her doing things I like.

When I got to my grandma's house Blaine was there sitting on the couch.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"We were praying before you got here." I rolled my eyes at that. "Me and your grandma. She went to get us some cocoa."

"Oh, okay...Uh, I'm gonna go upstairs-"

"You don't have to." Blaine said. "You could pray with us."

"Yeah, that's not really my thing." I frowned.

"Uh, we could just talk, then?"

I nodded. "Okay." I sat on the couch across from the chair where he was sitting and he smiled at me.

"So, how was your first day?"

"Good." That was soft of a lie. "I made a friend."

"Let me guess. Rachel?"

"No." I almost rolled my eyes. "His name is Sam. He's new, too."

"Nice." He smiled shyly and looked down at his bible. "Is he like you?"

I frowned. "Like me like what?"

"Uh...you know...?"

I smiled. "Is it so hard to say the word gay?"

"N-no."

"He's bisexual."

"I didn't know there was such thing." He sounded so pure and innocent. It was sort of cute.

I smiled at him but this time a real smile and he looked up at me from his bible. "The world is bigger than you think."

He nodded. "I guess."

"I overheard what your father said to you after I left the restroom on Sunday." I had no idea why but I felt relieved after I told him that.

"Kurt-"

"If he wants you to stay away, what are you doing here?"

Blaine just sighed. "I don't know."

I raised my brows. "Oh, you don't know?"

"Yeah…I don't think my dad is right about you. I think you're a good guy. A great guy."

I smiled. "Thanks, Blaine."

He nodded.

"You don't have to listen to everything your dad says, you know?"

"I don't." He sighed/chuckled. "We disagree on most things, actually."

"Should you be telling your family business to a mere peasant like me?" I joked.

"Kurt, you're royalty." I found myself blushing at that.

Before I could say anything my grandma was entering the room with two blue mugs I recognized from when I was little and she smiled at me.

"Kitten, I didn't know you were here." Grandma gave Blaine both mugs for him to hold and approached me to give me a tight hug, she let go of me and squeezed my cheeks as I smiled at her. "How was your first day?"

"It was great." As I talked to her I could feel Blaine's gaze on me and when I looked at him our eyes met and he looked down, blushing.

After I told my grandma about my day she asked me to sit with her and Blaine and pray. I wasn't a big fan of praying but Blaine was so...

"Amen." I repeated after Blaine, not sure of what I was doing.

"Grandma!" I heard my little brother yelling from upstairs and my grandma ran up to his room, leaving Blaine and I alone once more.

"So..." I said and smiled at him. "I need to talk to you about something."

"Oh?" Blaine smiled.

"But it can't be here. It needs to be somewhere else."

"Well, we could...maybe talk over dinner?" He asked and I couldn't help but smile.

"Dinner?"

"Yeah. Tonight." It sounded like a date. And I knew Blaine was gay. Blaine just didn't know I knew. Yep, it was definitely a date.

"Okay." I was blushing hard. Oh fuck. I took a deep breath and smiled. "At seven?"

"Okay, sure." He stood up after he took a last sip of his cocoa and offered me his hand for me to shake it. "Tell your grandma I said bye. And that I'm praying for her."

I nodded. "Okay."

"See you tonight?" He asked with a grin that made me melt.

When he left I started thinking about everything. I was so confused. Blaine was gay, that I knew because he had told me. Well, not me. He had told my online self: eh1994. But he told me. It was me he talked to for all these months. So maybe it was a date? Well, I sure dressed up for a date. I put on black long boots, my skinniest black jeans, a white shirt and a blazer over it. I looked awesome and my hair was perfectly coiffed.

"Well, don't you look good." My mom told me, stopping by my bedroom door as I sprayed perfume all over me. "Hot date?"

"Mom, it's my first week in Ohio." I said with a smile. "And It's not a date. I'm having dinner with Blaine."

"Oh." She didn't seem happy.

"Oh?" I frowned.

"Well-" she sighed. "You know his father-"

"Mom, I know, I know his dad is a hypocritical asshole and a homophobe and so is the rest of his family but Blaine is different."

"And how do you know that?"

"I-" I sighed. "I just know, mom."

"Okay. Do whatever but just-don't fall for him."

"Mom!" I protested.

"I don't want you to get hurt, Kurt..."

I approached her and put my hands on her shoulders. "I won't." I kissed her cheek.

The doorbell rang and when I looked up at the clock I saw it was exactly seven.

"Be careful." She told me when I was halfway down the stairs.

"I will." I said loudly so she would hear me. When I opened the door I found Blaine standing there with a big smile. He was wearing a white polo shirt, a dark red bow tie and Capri jeans. He looked beautiful.

"Hey."

"Hi!" I was suddenly breathless because of how beautiful he looked.

"You ready?"

"Yeah." I took a deep breath. "Nice bow tie."

He opened the car door for me when we got to his car and he seemed happy and excited.

"Does your dad know you're hanging out with me?"

Blaine sighed. "He's doesn't need to know. Besides, I'm old enough to choose who I hang out with."

"Blaine Anderson, a true bad boy." I mocked and he chuckled and elbowed me. "You're such a rebel, mister!"

His laugh was beautiful, he looked just-perfect.

"So, where are we going?"

"To a restaurant."

"I know but which restaurant." I couldn't stop smiling.

"It's a surprise." He had a smirk playing on his mouth and I felt like kissing him on that moment but I shook that thought away.

"I don't like surprises. Who likes surprises?"

"Deal with it."

I smiled harder. "Whoa, you are a true bad boy. What would the members of the church say?"

Blaine sighed and his mood seemed to change. Oh fuck, soft spot. Shit, I shouldn't have talked about church! It ruined the mood.

"Uh, so..."

"So, school. Did you enjoy your first day?" He asked me, his eyes fixed on the road.

"Er..sort of." I cleared my throat."It's a very weird school. I mean, did you know they throw slushies at each other as a way of bullying?" I raised my brows. "Like, what the fuck?"

Blaine flinched when I cursed and then frowned.

"Sorry, no cursing, right?"

"It's okay." He said calmly. "I don't mind, I'm just not used to it."

I nodded. We stayed in silence for a few minutes and it was weird. Really weird. We were taking way too long to get to wherever we were going to I assumed we were lost.

"Are we lost?"

"Nope." Blaine said.

"Then what's taking so long?"

"Cause it's out of town. Wapakoneta."

"Really?" I frowned. "Why do I feel like I'm being kidnapped?"

"I thought you'd want privacy and since I know everyone in Lima I thought you'd like to get out of town. Besides, I'm tired of Breadstixx and there are some great restaurants in Wapakoneta."

I chuckled. "Nice. Very thoughtful of you."

"Don't worry. It will only take like ten more minutes."

"Cool."

"So, how are you, Kurt?" He asked in all seriousness and it sounded like he really wanted to know.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not." He said bluntly. "Your grandfather died."

I sighed. "Thanks for reminding me." I said sarcastically.

"You know something I know about you?" I hummed. "You always use sarcasm as a self defense."

"Blaine...I don't really wanna talk about this."

"Come on, I'm a psychologist. You can tell me anything."

"I don't want to talk to a psychologist. I don't wanna talk to anyone about this. Not yet."

He nodded. "Okay, I'm sorry. When you said you needed to talk to me about something I assumed you needed someone to talk to, that's all."

"No, it's not that."

"Then, what's it?"

"Just, wait. I'll tell you after I have some food in my tummy cause I'm starving."

He smiled. "Okay." Blaine was always so calm and so patient and also adorable, yes, adorable.

I turned the radio on and sang along to a song I didn't even know the name of, I just knew the lyrics. I guessed Blaine liked my singing because he was smiling and so was I. Soon we were at the restaurant and it was a very nice place. I let Blaine order for me because I wasn't familiar with the restaurant and he was and as we waited for our food, we started chatting.

"So, modeling, huh?" Blaine asked, playing with his napkin. "Do you like it?"

I smiled. "I love it. It makes me really happy."

He nodded. "That's cool. I like seeing you happy." He didn't look directly at me. As we talked, he stared down at his napkin and didn't dare to look into my eyes. We made small talk, Blaine told me about the youth service at his church and he explained me everything about it.

"Blaine." I said firmly after the waiter delivered our food.

"Yes?" He finally looked into my eyes and I blushed.

"I'm-I'm not sure how to say this..." I smiled and he smiled back at me. He took one of my hands and squeezed it and that made me smile so hard on the inside. I was jumping in happiness.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Blaine said. "I mean, we didn't speak for 5 years but you're still Kurt and I'm still Blaine and we are friends, right?"

"Of course we are." I sighed. "You're one of the most amazing people I've ever met."

Blaine seemed confused.

"Blaine, we know each other. We know everything about each other. I know everything about you. I know you and your father are constantly arguing, I know you look forward to marriage equality in all 50 states, I know you secretly listen to the 10 best hits of Queen album every Sunday night and dance along because it makes your week better, I know..." I sighed as Blaine stared at me wide eyed. "I know you're gay." I whispered

"Kurt-"

"Stop." I said. "On the app. Kik. We have been talking for months. Almost an year." He still stared at me wide eyed and he let go of my hand and held his own hand.

"You're EH1994?" He asked, now staring down at his plate and he seemed like he was going to cry.

"Y-yes."

He took a deep breath. "We should-" he raised his hands and snapped his fingers to call the waiter. "Can you wrap this up to go?" He asked the waiter and I frowned at Blaine when the waiter left.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking you home."

"What? Why?" I was frowning hard.

"I just-" he put his hand on his forehead and sighed. "I can't do this right now."

"Do what? What are you talking about?" I felt crushed. I had expected kisses and hugs, not this.

Then Blaine was crying. "I told you my deepest secrets, Kurt. I-I-" he scoffed.

"I know, I told you mine too and you can trust me, okay? I'm your friend."

The waiter delivered us the food in a package and Blaine gave the guy three 20 dollars bill and walked out of the restaurant so I followed him.

"Blaine, what's going on?" I asked once we were both in the car.

"I'm taking you home."

"Why?"

"You have school tomorrow."

"So that's all you're gonna say? About us having shared our deepest secret and that we have been friends without even knowing this whole time? You're just gonna ignore it? Ignore what we had?"

"We didn't have anything, Kurt." It was like being stabbed in the heart. "We talked and that was all."

"Blaine," there were tears in my eyes. "I told you everything about me. I opened my heart to you-"

"You didn't even know it was me, Kurt!" He scoffed. "You probably would've opened your heart to any other stranger who talked to you on kik."

I scoffed. "You're a fucking jerk, you know."

"Kurt..."

"Just like your father. You're a jerk."

"I'm-"

"Just forget it, Blaine." I sighed. "Just forget it."


	3. Look What He's Done To Me

A/N: this chapter is based on a true story.

* * *

><p>Skank Quinn (that's how I had decided to call her) assumed we were friends so she followed me around the whole week. We shared two classes: drama and English. So she decided to sit with me on those two classes and go on and on about how much she hated everyone. She tried to spend lunch with me but instead, I spent lunch time with Sam. Everyday we sat together on the staircases while everyone was in the cafeteria and we talked about silly things and he made funny impressions and complimented me and took my hand. I liked Sam and I was trying to like him as more than friends but every time I tried to wrap my mind around the wish to like him in a way I couldn't, I thought about how much I liked Blaine and how much I wanted him. We hadn't talked in weeks. I refused to go to church because I didn't wanna face him. I downloaded the kik app again hoping he'd message me but he didn't. For weeks I stared out my window to see his window closed across the street and the feeling of disappointment haunted me. I felt awful. Like I missed him even though we barely spent time together but it was probably because we talked for months even if we didn't know we were talking to each other.<p>

After a few weeks I decided to start telling things to Sam. I felt like I could trust him. My friends back in New York and France barely talked to me anymore so it was like I had no friends but I had Sam oh, well, skank Quinn, too but I felt uncomfortable around her…so one day, during lunch time I decided to tell him about Blaine.

"So you two just stopped talking?" He asked and I nodded. "Just like that?"

"Yeah. He was a total jerk when we had dinner. He's scared of being gay and I bet he likes me back. He's just scared."

"Well, put yourself on his shoes for a second, Kurt. His family is tough, I'd be scared, too."

"I know." I sighed. "I guess we are just lucky to have supportive parents."

"We are." Sam said with his mouthful of food, he was eating Oreos. "Why don't you just talk to him?"

"Because I can't, okay? It'd be humiliating."

He shrugged. "Maybe you should just get over him. I mean, you hate his family, don't you? How would a relationship between you two work if you hate his family."

"If he knew what his family has done to me he'd understand why I hate his family."

"And what exactly did they do?"

I sighed. I had never told this story to anyone but maybe telling Sam would make me not hate them as much as I do. "Okay..."

_I was ten when I found out what gay was. I always knew I liked boys I just didn't know some people weren't okay with it and that people could hate me for that, oh, and that people called it gay. I found out that people thought being gay was wrong by watching a tv show called Queer as Folk. I guess that's how most kids my age found out what gay really was. When I told my parents they were okay with it and supported me. No one knew I was gay besides my parents. But it was pretty obvious, I mean, I took Barbie dolls to school for christ's sake._

_My grandma always took me and my family to church when I was little, I never really payed attention to any of the bullshit they said and spent the whole service drawing outfits on a notebook but one day the pastor, Blaine's dad, started talking about homosexuality and that caught my attention. When I walked out of church that day I hated myself. I felt guilty for being gay and I thought I deserved to die. I had never felt so bad in my life. But when we got home my parents explained to me that being gay was okay and that I shouldn't listen to everything the pastor said and that I should be proud of who I am because they were proud of me. So I decided to be proud of who I was and to come out to my whole family and they were totally supportive of it. My grandma even bought me a rainbow flag. _

_But someone outside my family found out that I was gay and no one was supportive. On the contraire, they hated me for it. _

_I had only one friend in middle school, Rachel, Blaine's sister and when she found out I was gay she stopped talking to me and I had no friends at school anymore. My family was all I had. I started being pushed around, tossed into dumpsters and one day, Rachel's twin brother and his friends beat me up and she watched them do it and did nothing about it. No one did. I didn't tell my parents that I was beat up because I didn't want them to worry but I wasn't about to walk away from a beat up and do nothing about it so one Sunday after service I went up to Pastor Anderson and told him that I wanted to have a meeting with him, I didn't tell him it was to talk about what his son had done but he simply laughed at that (funny that a 13 year old wants a meeting with the church's pastor) but made an appointment with me on the day after that. _

_I dressed up in my fanciest outfit for this meeting. Even if it wasn't important for him, it was for me. I felt like it was the day I'd take my bullies down but I was wrong. I was so wrong._

_"So, Mr. Hummel." Pastor Anderson was wearing the ugliest suit I had ever seen. We were sitting in his office, he was in a huge office chair and I was sitting on a small chair across his desk. "What was it that you needed?"_

_I took a deep breath. "The thing is, Mr. Anderson-."_

_"Actually, I have an idea of why you're here, Mr. Hummel."_

_"You do?" I raised my brows in surprise._

_"For forgiveness, right?"_

_I frowned. "What? Forgiveness for what?"_

_"Well, I heard recently that you've been claiming to be a...homosexual?" He sounded disgusted when saying the word 'homosexual'. "Is that true?"_

_"Yes, it is." I wasn't afraid of that guy and I was proud of who I am, I had nothing to fear._

_"Well, there's still time to ask the lord for forgiveness, son."_

_"What? That's not what this is about."_

_"Son..." The man sighed. "You can't ignore this. You have to fight these feelings."_

_"This is not what I'm here to talk about, Pastor Anderson. I'm here to talk about your son who has been harassing and hurting me for weeks!"_

_"Oh, that?" He said like what I had just said was the most common thing in the world._

_"What do you mean, 'Oh, that'?" There was wrath in my tone and expression. "He and his friends beat me up last Friday. I'm pretty sure I broke bones."_

_"Well, if you're going to choose going on the path you're going you will have to face things like this."_

_"Path? What path?"_

_"The homosexual path. It's a choice you make that will turn you away from the Lord. It's a disgusting path and your actions do not please God."_

_I didn't say anything, I was shocked._

_"If you choose to be a homosexual, everywhere you go you'll find people who will beat you and tease you. It's an endless nightmare and they're right to do so. Homosexuals have to learn that what they do is wrong and that the Lord will find a way to make it right-"_

_"Wait." I interrupted him. "You're saying your son is right to beat me up because I'm gay?" I questioned, angrily._

_"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying." He sounded so calm it was frustrating. "My son is simply trying to show you that the homosexual life is painful and disgusting. He's trying to make you open your eyes and see what you're doing is wrong."_

_I gasped, literally gasped. "This is unbelievable."_

_"Kurt, you're a young man, you still have time to say no to the devil and walk in a righteous path. God's path. Jesus didn't die in the cross for nothing. He did that to forgive us for things like these. To forgive you for thinking that you're a homosexual. For thinking that same sex relations are okay. For desiring these…these disgusting things…"_

_I was speechless._

_"Do you want me to pray for you now?"_

_"No, I don't want you to pray for me!" I yelled. "I want you to tell your son to stay away from me."_

_"I'm afraid I can't do that."_

_"He beat me up!"_

_"Because you deserved it! You made the choice to be a homosexual and this choice has consequences!"_

_"I didn't choose anything! This is who I am!"_

_"That's the devil speaking, son. That's not who you are! We must pray while there is time! Fight the devil, son! God can give you strenght to fight it!"_

_"I can't believe this." Before I realized, I was in tears. _

_"Are you ready to ask the Lord for forgiveness, son?" He asked me, offering me his hands for me to take them._

_"I don't need forgiveness, I-I-" I stared at him for a few seconds and stormed out of the room, crying._

_That day, as soon as I got home I ran up to my room and cried all day. I didn't tell anyone what had happened. I pretended everything was okay. I always pretend everything is okay._

_On the next Sunday I went to church with my family, as mad as I was, I knew how happy my grandma got when I went to church with her so I just decided to be the bigger man and ignore the asshole who people called Pastor Anderson._

_And the subject of the service that day was homosexuality, of course. Blaine wasn't there that day and I was kind of disappointed. He was my babysitter back then and I had always had a huge crush on him._

_"It is a sin. It's on the bible. It is what it is." Said pastor Anderson and the crowd agreed with him saying things like 'Hallelujah' and 'amen'. "Homosexuals will burn in hell unless they ask for forgiveness!"_

_I rolled my eyes. I wasn't sad because of the things the pastor said. I was angry. My dad looked angry, too. My mom looked calm as always and my grandma seemed confused. My grandpa was asleep. He was always asleep at the Sunday service._

_"And you know the thing that the devil likes the most?" The pastor asked and people looked attentively at him. "When a person is in sin and comes to the house of the Lord and pretends to be pure. Like my friend Kurt." He pointed at me._

_My mother and grandma gasped and my dad frowned hard. _

_"It's a sin. God hates homosexuality and today I'd like to invite my friend Kurt Hummel to ask the Lord for forgiveness and together we will pray for his life."_

_"Excuse me!" My father was standing up with his arm raised and an angry expression. "Yes my son is a homosexual and I couldn't be more proud of him." I smiled at my father. "If your God hates him for liking guys instead of girls then I guess your God is different from mine because my God loves me and my son very much, gay or straight. Black or white. Tall or short." The pastor was gaping at my father. "And all Jesus preached was love so I think you're wrong. God loves my son and I bet he is as proud of Kurt as I am." He took my mother's hand and my mother took mine. "Let's get out of here. I don't wanna hear this bullshit anymore." He whispered to my mom and we stormed out of the church together, my grandma stayed behind with my grandpa and I was kinda disappointed by that._

_After we got out of there we celebrated. We had lunch at The Cheesecake Factory and I had a huge piece of cheesecake, just me my mom and my dad. _

_My grandma and my grandpa never commented on what happened that day and we didn't comment either. My dad and I stopped going to church but the rest of my family still went on Sunday's just to please my grandma. My mom grew up in that church. I don't think they'd leave just because of one mistake of one pastor and I didn't blame them._

"And that's the story." I sighed.

"So you left town?"

"Not because of that." I sighed again. "The real reason why I left town was because of a group of people that made a protest against homosexuality in front of my house with signs saying things like 'God hates fags'." I rolled my eyes. "Also, my mother got pregnant and she didn't want my brother to grow up in a town like Lima so we moved to New York."

"You're very strong, Kurt. Most teenagers would've committed suicide after that, or something."

I shook my head. "Meh, I was depressed for a while but I got over it."

"Good." He took my hand and squeezed it. "But knowing this story makes me think that the choice of giving up on Blaine a good choice."

"I don't want to give up on him." We stayed in silence for a few seconds.

"Did your parents ever find out about the bullying and the things Pastor Anderson said to you?"

"Nope." I let go of Sam's hand. "My mom grew up in that church. My parents got married there and so did my grandparents. They have a _lot_ of history there. I didn't want them to give up on a whole church because of one stupid Pastor."

"But what about the protesters in front of your house?"

"They were from another church in Fort Shawnee. My grandma made a complaint to their Pastor about the protest but nothing really happened to them."

Sam punched my arm softly. "You're tougher than you look."

I raised my brows and smiled. "I guess."

We saw Quinn running towards us from the end of the hallway where the doors of the cafeteria were with a huge smile and that caught our attention.

"Hey, guys!" She greeted us, excitedly.

"Hi, Quinn." Sam said and I just waved at her.

"So, we are having a party tonight, do you guys wanna come?"

Before I could say anything Sam said yes. "Why not?"

"Cool. Do you guys need a ride there?"

"Just text me the address and I'll pick Kurt up."

She nodded and texted Sam the address right away then left, humming a song I didn't know.

"I can't believe you said yes for me!" I scoffed. "I hate parties!"

"No you don't." Sam said. "You told me about tons of parties you went to in Paris."

"That's different." I frowned. "Those are professional parties. Business only and not the stereotypical high school party with booze and weed."

"We are going together." Sam said and took my hand. "And it's gonna be awesome."

"Nope, I am not going."

"Yes, you are." He smiled.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine but promise me if the party sucks we'll leave."

"I promise."


	4. Just Kiss Me

While I got ready for the party in my room I saw Blaine's window open for the first time in weeks and that made me smile like an idiot. He was sitting in his bed that was by the window reading a book, probably the bible, and drinking something.

Sam was playing some game on his phone, lying in my bed while I showed him outfit options, he was already ready for the party but was helping me pick an outfit, well, pretending to help because the game seemed more interesting than helping me pick an outfit.

"Sam!" I yelled.

"What?" He asked, not looking up from his phone for a damn second.

"Blaine's window is opened."

He scoffed. "Get over this guy, Kurt." He sighed.

I saw Blaine throwing the book on his bedside table and taking his phone from his pocket, a few seconds after I heard my phone buzzing, indicating that there was one new message. I ran over to my phone and it was a message on the kik app. I quickly unlocked the phone and read the message with a smile.

**_warblerpower:_** I miss you

"He just texted me." I told Sam in awe, totally surprised.

"Then, text him back."

I wanted to but I didn't know what to say.

_**eh1994:**__ text me, my number is (567)280-2501. i don't like this app, there are a lot of creeps here._

I wrote that because after I opened the app tons of messages popped up where men asked pictures of me naked so I texted him that and immediately deleted the kik app. He immediately sent me a text on my number saying the same thing, 'I miss you'. I saved his number and took a deep breath.

"Nope. No Blaine today." I told myself, fighting not to reply the text. What? Was I just gonna text him after he was a jerk to me? Nope. No away. "We are going out and we are going to party and forget about boys and stupid problems and get really drunk."

Sam finally looked up at me from his phone and smiled. "Now you are talking."

The party wasn't what we expected. It was actually depressing. All the skanks were there and other people dressed exactly like them. There were people sitting on couches getting high, people just talking. It all really reminded me of a party of that movie _Perks of Being a Wallflower_. I felt like I was in the wrong place. I _was_ in the wrong place.

"Hey, you guys, welcome!" Quinn said excitedly to Sam and I when she saw us standing awkwardly on the doorstep. She dragged us into the house and introduced us to a bunch of people then Sam and I sat together on a couch when she excused herself saying she'd get us some brownies. I rejected the brownies, of course. I knew they were spiked with weed and I wasn't really into all that.

Some guy dragged Sam upstairs probably to hook up and I was left there, not sure of what to do. Why did I tell Sam we were gonna get drunk? And had he really dragged me there to leave me to hook up with some guy? And why the hell had I agreed to come to this stupid party with stoners and skanks? Usually at parties I went to in France all I talked about was fashion and modeling and I loved it. I was used to fancy parties with rich people where it was all about fashion and suddenly I was in a stupid party where I didn't know what to do or say.

Quinn dragged me up from the couch towards the kitchen to find a piece of glass and-oh, God, was that cocaine?

"Want a line?" She asked me and I frowned at her.

"No, thanks. I'm not really into illegal drugs."

She nodded and scoffed. "God, Kurt, you're so uptight!"

I shrugged. "You got a cigarette?"

"Weed?"

"No, not weed. Just a simple cigarette."

"Sorry, no." She sighed. "How about some shots?"

"I don't drink alcohol, thanks." That was a lie. I walked away from her and went back to sitting on the couch, watching people and silently hating on their outfits. I wanted to leave but Sam had drived us and my house was far away.

A guy Quinn had previously introduced me called Finn sat next to me holding a bong and a cup and he offered me the red cup of coke. I drank the Soda because I was awfully thirsty and he smiled at me when I drank it. Then he offered me his bong and shook my head no and he smiled, he was really high.

"So...modeling, huh?" Finn asked, the smell of weed making my nose itch.

"Yeah."

"Cool." He nodded. There was a weird silence between us so I just decided to talk about what was on my mind.

"Uh, Finn, what do you know about Quinn?" I asked him, staring at Quinn curiously.

"Ugh, she's her daddy's little girl." Finn rolled his eyes. "She's had an easy life and now she is dressing up as a skank to piss off her parents."

"Oh…" I raised my head and nodded. "Not good?"

"No." Finn sighed.

"So, do you live here?"

"Yeah. With Puck, Santana, Jess, Kyle and Derek."

"No parents?"

"No, bro. We are a bunch of orphans."

I sighed. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, dude." He stood up and offered me his hand for me to shake it and I did. "Nice to meet you."

I watched Quinn struggling on smoking weed and after a while I started feeling weird, everything was moving, the chairs, the floor, the ceiling. What had I taken? Was it on the coca cola? God damn it! My grandma was going to kill me! I looked around for Sam and couldn't find him. I needed to get out of there, suddenly everything was too warm and I felt aroused and bothered and hot. My head hurt and it felt like my eyes were gonna pop out of my head. God, what was on that freaking drink? I clumsily took my phone out of my pocket and dialed the number of the only person that could help me then. I clumsily stepped out of the house, trying hard not to fall on my face. I couldn't go home, my grandma would get mad…Oh, God, help me.

"Hello?" Thank God he answered the phone.

"Blaine." I felt relieved to hear his voice. Mine on the other hand was rasp and I sounded like I had just swallowed nails.

"Hi." He sounded happy. "I'm glad you called."

"I-I I'm glad you picked up!" Oh my god, why the hell had I said that?

"Kurt, are you drunk?"

"Kind of." My vision was blurry. "I took something. I'm not sure what it is. I'm terrified I'll have a heart attack or something."

"Where are you?"

"At this guy Finn's house."

"You're at the orphans house?!" He sounded angry. "What are you doing there?"

"There was a party..."

"Just-stay where you are."

"Don't hang up." I asked. "If I stop talking it's because I've had a heart attack."

He sighed. "Don't joke about this, okay?"

"Sorry." I stumbled across the street and fell down on the ground and groaned when my butt hit the wet ground of the garden of the house across the street.

"What happened, are you okay?" He asked when he heard the loud noise of me falling on the ground and he sounded so worried it was adorable.

"Fine." I felt giggly. "Just tripped." I giggled.

"Kurt, you're worrying me!"

I simply giggled.

"Kurt!"

"What!?" This time I sounded sleepy.

"Just-God, I can't believe you went to a party at the orphans' house! Do you know how dangerous they are?"

I shrugged even though I knew he couldn't see me. "They seemed cool."

Then I started laughing loudly and suddenly I couldn't feel my legs.

"Blaine." I could barely breath because of how hard I was laughing. "Blaine! Since when is the sky black at night?" I frowned. "Why the hell is the sky black?" I pouted. "It's so saaaaaaaad!"

Blaine was talking to me but I couldn't pay attention to what he was saying because the sky was so black. I lied down on the ground and stared at that bright spot on the sky! It was beautiful. Better than a rainbow! What was that bright thing called? I'd forgotten. When I closed my eyes it wasn't all black. It was purple and fun and beautiful. I never thought closing my eyes could be so much fun. There was a zebra and a raccoon. _Get out of here raccoon!_ When I opened my eyes there was a beautiful man with his arms wrapped around me. I think he was trying to carry me but I couldn't really feel my legs. I guess I'd lost track of time because we were suddenly out of the car, in a building then an elevator then an apartment.

I stared at the ceiling. Oh, Fuck, everything was way too white. It was like bright white. There were no photograps or paintings on the walls. That was sad. The man was talking and I couldn't understand anything, I was just happy.

"My grandfather died." I whispered and pouted. "And I really miss him but now he's in the sky with the bright spots!" I took a deep breath. "Maybe he is the bright spot! Like, when he died, his soul became a bright spot-STARS! That's how they're called! Silly of me to forget their name!" I sighed. "I think when people die they become stars!"

I was lying in a white couch and when I moved my feet there was someone sitting there. Blaine! It was Blaine! He handed me a bottle of water and I drank it all up. I was so thirsty! I asked for another bottle and I drank half of it and then what was blurry started becoming normal again. I fell asleep I didn't know for how long and when I woke up Blaine was sitting next to me, watching some pastor preaching on the TV.

"What-" My throat hurt. "Oh, God did we have sex?!"

He chuckled and turned the TV off when he saw I was awake. "No."

I sat up in the couch and rubbed my forehead. "Oh right," I groaned. "You're saving yourself so when you die you'll go to heaven with your wife." I said in a mocking tone.

"Don't mock my faith." He said seriously.

"Sorry." I cleared my throat. "Thanks for saving me."

"Yeah, don't mention it." He sighed. "Now can you tell me what the hell were you doing at the orphans' house?"

"What's up with that name?" I scoffed.

"They're dangerous people, Kurt."

"Stop talking to me like you're my father."

"You don't understand, okay?" He scoffed. "They are-they are awful people."

"If you weren't related to the most judgmental person I've ever met I would believe you."

"You know I'm nothing like my father, Kurt."

I sighed. "I know, I know. But you don't know them, okay? They were nice to me."

"Kurt, they drugged you. And if you knew the things they did you'd agree with me."

"Well, then tell me."

He sighed. "They just-they are-they use illegal drugs, Kurt!"

"Blaine, you probably know a thousand people who use illegal drugs, you just don't know they do."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "They're not good people."

"They are a bit weird, yes but they're nice people. They tried to include me in their clique so I wouldn't feel alone. That's really nice."

"Fine. Whatever."

"Not 'whatever'." I frowned. "You have to stop judging people."

"But my father told me-"

"Don't believe everything your father tells you." I groaned. "Do you have a smoke?"

Blaine frowned, suspiciously. "No."

"Vodka?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Okay." I lied back in the couch, trying to relax. "What time is it?"

"It's 2 in the morning, Kurt."

I looked around and frowned. "Where are we anyways?"

Blaine sighed. "It's my apartment. For when I get married."

I scoffed. "Seriously?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"Well, we shouldn't be here, then."

"It's fine. I don't think I'll get married anytime soon."

"So your father gave you an apartment for when you get married?"

He nodded. "Yes. He says men have the responsibility to take care of our women so he gave me and my older brother Cooper apartments for when we get married we have a home for our wives."

"You say 'our women' like women are an object you posess."

"Well-"

"Well?" I scoffed. "You think women are objects?"

"No!" He said immediately. "I was gonna say that in the past women were treated like objects of procreation, that's all." Blaine frowned. "Are you a feminist?"

"Yes." I frowned, too. "Aren't you?"

"I don't know." He put his hand on his chin and looked up. "I never really thought about it."

"Oh, right," I scoffed. "You let your daddy think about it for you."

"Will you stop that?"

I crossed my arms and raised my brows. "Stop what?"

"Stop being mean to me."

"No!"

Blaine winced at the curse word. "I don't get why are you being so rude!"

"You don't get it?" I asked in a mocking tone.

"I just-"

"I'm probably being rude because I'm fucking angry with you?"

"Why?" He asked innocently and he looked so cute it was hard for me to yell at him.

"Because you're pushing me away! Because we had this _thing_ and as soon as it all got real and you freaked out!" I scoffed. "You've wanted to know who I was for months and when I finally told you you just insulted me and you were awful to me." I sighed. "Did you hate the idea that the person you've been talking to online was me that much?"

"No, Kurt of course I didn't. I was happy it was you I was," Blaine sighed. We stayed in silence for about a minute. "I just-" Another sigh. "I'm so confused, Kurt." He looked like he was going to cry and I felt like just holding him.

"Confused?" I scoffed. "We've chatted online for so long and you never seemed confused. You were always sure you were gay and sure of what you wanted, sure you wanted to know who I was but now you're suddenly not?"

"I wanted to know who you were because I was scared you weren't real and I had to be sure you were…"

I frowned.

"You were the perfect friend online. You didn't judge me or tell me my ideas were stupid, you were always there for me and I felt safe when talking to you. I wanted to know more about you and I wanted to know who you were but as soon as I found out you were _you_ i-"

"You hated it?"

"No! Of course I didn't!" He said immediately. "I actually liked it too much." I couldn't help but smile. "I-I already had feelings for you before I knew you were EH1994, feelings that scared me, feelings that I shouldn't have been feeling."

I was frowning hard at him because it was the only way I could hide my smile. I was happy he liked me but I wasn't happy he was confused.

"And when I found out you were my online friend my feelings for you were intensified and I got scared because the two people I liked the most were the same person."

"You got scared?" I whispered.

He nodded and looked down at his hands. "You're making me _feel_ things I've never felt before." I could see tears in his eyes and he took a deep breath. "And it's so confusing because I'm not supposed to feel what I'm feeling." He sobbed. "You didn't know my name or who I was but you knew me better than everyone. I didn't have to pretend or to try too hard when talking to you. I could be myself around you and I just wanted to be around you all the time. I wanted to hug you and hold you. I still want to."

"Well, why don't you?" I asked with a smirk.

"Because It's a sin, Kurt. It's wrong. Everything I'm feeling is wrong." He looked so so so sad. "And this _need_ to be around you and to talk to you is killing me. It's like I miss you even if we never spent time together. I have this guilt but the desire I have for you seems to be bigger."

I was smiling hard now, not being able to hide it anymore. "So you like me?"

He nodded shyly.

I sighed and put my hand on his shoulder. "It's okay to feel whatever you're feeling." I whispered to him. "The bible was written _ages_ ago. Everything was different." I sighed. "You don't have to be guilty for having feelings towards a man. God loves you anyways."

"It's not about God's love, Kurt. You don't understand. It's wrong."

"Being gay is wrong? Why's it wrong to love someone?"

"Because it's what the bible says! It's wrong!"

"Not it's not!" I raised my tone.

"Yes, it is!"

"Then Tell me if this _feels_ wrong." I yelled then I kissed him.

* * *

><p>Kurt was kissing me. Holy freaking Jesus! He was kissing me and I was so shocked I didn't move my lips or do anything. He poked my lips with his tongue and I just opened my mouth and let him caress my tongue with his and it felt perfect. It felt right. It felt like kissing Kurt was what I was born to do.<p>

Kurt wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me closer to him so our chests were touching and being close to him was better than I had ever imagined…I didn't wanna stop kissing him. It was way too perfect. The kiss was wet and noisy but it was perfect and as inexperienced as I was, I felt like I knew what I was doing. We kissed until we were both out of air and sadly he pulled away, gasping for air and I literally groaned when he did. I was breathless and so was he.

"Did that feel wrong?" He asked me, letting go of me and moving away.

I was gaping at him then I was biting my lower lip and I had this feeling on my tummy... was that what it felt like to want someone? In a sexual way?

"No." I whispered and looked away because I couldn't look at him without wanting to kiss him again.

"Blaine, look at me." Kurt whispered calmly and I was frowning hard, staring at the floor, tears falling down my face. "Look at me, Blaine." He demanded but I couldn't. I couldn't look at him because I knew if I did I'd wanna kiss him again.

"I-I-"

"Blaine…" then he was crying too. "I like you so much." He sobbed. "Talking to you was the thing that brightened my day." I cried. "When I talked to you I didn't feel lonely I-I-" We were both crying like babies. "Please don't push me away. Please."

I didn't know what to say. All I wanted to do was to give in and let him hold me but- "Kurt, I don't know what to do." I cried. "Just, please-"

"'Please' what?"

I finally looked right into his eyes. "Just kiss me." I whispered.

So he did.

* * *

><p><em>AN: tell me if this sucks or if there's any grammar mistake! hey what did you guys think of the new glee episode! I died! the klaine angst, oh jesus. please review. love you all, xo thank you for the support and love _


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